ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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