Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
