its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
