I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
