I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize