Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
