we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
