His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
