i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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