It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
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He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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