My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i already hear my dad disowning me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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