he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
