im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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