you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The adults are the big ones right?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
