It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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