just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
