I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
