Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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