Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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