you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
