the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
