brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
is that a dick in a sweater?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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