Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
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So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
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After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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