it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
