Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
