I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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