I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
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Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
being pregnant is like rehab
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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