i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
