I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
