drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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