Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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