Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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