You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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