My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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