worst night to have a conscience
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize