They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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