Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
