i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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