I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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