He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize