I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize