did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
