Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
