My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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