There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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