That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
