great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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