So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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