I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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