I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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