Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me

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(937): he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me http://tfl.nu/l4dj

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(313): View more from Michigan

sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test

(1-313): View more from Michigan

but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.

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(313): sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test (1-313): but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know. http://tfl.nu/w4h7

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(240): View more from Maryland

My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.

(1-240): View more from Maryland

Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?

(240): View more from Maryland

Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.

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(240): My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist. (1-240): Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab? (240): Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore. http://tfl.nu/3est

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(214): View more from Texas

My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.

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(214): My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes. http://tfl.nu/jl4m

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.

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(615): You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove. http://tfl.nu/nj9j

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(410): View more from Maryland

She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.

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(410): She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else. http://tfl.nu/yur0

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(812): View more from Indiana

i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities

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(812): i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities http://tfl.nu/t8hr

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(314): View more from Missouri

Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.

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(314): Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good. http://tfl.nu/kvkg

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(407): View more from Florida

There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.

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(407): There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese. http://tfl.nu/1bs2

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(435): View more from Utah

honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those

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(435): honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those http://tfl.nu/lx6k

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(847): View more from Illinois

When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.

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(847): When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off. http://tfl.nu/w3pn

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.

(732): View more from New Jersey

you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.

(732): View more from New Jersey

IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.

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(732): You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home. (732): you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato. (732): IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME. http://tfl.nu/cjpu

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest

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(615): I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest http://tfl.nu/qz1n

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...

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(570): I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing... http://tfl.nu/vi9c

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...

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(412): It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down... http://tfl.nu/0wb7

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