Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.