69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.