there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".