I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
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i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires