Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
