Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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