I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
