Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
