It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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