he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i think i just lost a toe
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize